


A Classic Fear Of Rejection

by VampAmber



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Complete, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Sam Winchester Knows, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 11:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13716282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampAmber/pseuds/VampAmber
Summary: Castiel has been in love with Dean for almost ten years now. Ever since he'd raised the Righteous Man from perdition, actually. But Dean appears to be straight, so the angel just pined for him instead, fearing rejection. At Sam's insistence, Castiel finally admits his feelings, and it turns out that the angel may have been wrong about the elder Winchester's orientation.





	A Classic Fear Of Rejection

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, I sorta joined an unofficial bingo in the group Destiel Port over on Facebook, and this was my first square. The prompt was:
> 
> _Castiel is scared of being rejected by Dean_
> 
> Hopefully this turned out as good as I think it did. ^_^

It had been almost a decade. Almost a decade since the angels had broken into Hell to save the Righteous Man. Since Castiel had been chosen as the one to do the actual raising from perdition, the mending of the bones and recreating of the body and fixing of the soul. A decade is nothing in an angel’s lifetime, but with Castiel hiding his feelings for the hunter that long, it felt like an eternity.

When Castiel had first seen that impossibly bright soul, shining beautifully even though it had been torturing for so very long, his heart had been lost to the perfection before him. Angels don't have much of a concept of romantic love, their Father leaving that business to the humans He’d created after them. So in the beginning, Castiel had no idea what his heart was trying so hard to tell him. He couldn't understand that he was in love with Dean Winchester.

But the longer he stayed on Earth, the more he understood humanity as well as himself. The ache in his heart was because he was in love. When he realized this, he cried with relief. He wasn't broken. But when he went to tell Dean of this new thing he had learned and wanted to share, Dean was flirting with a female waitress at the bar. A female who he ended up in bed with later that night. As Castiel had learned about love, he'd also learned about sexuality, and everything he’d learned on that subject pointed towards Dean being straight.

Castiel watched him closer after that, only ever seeing him flirt with females, never males. This made the angel lose hope of ever having his feelings returned by the hunter, since Jimmy had been completely male and after his sacrifice, Castiel didn't want to take a different vessel. So instead, he watched Dean but kept his feelings hidden. He could never take the inevitable rejection if he ever confessed.

Thankfully, the older Dean got, the less 'one-night stands’ he had with females. While Castiel did want Dean to be happy, even if it wasn't with him, a part of him always cheered on the inside whenever Dean didn't give a second glance to an attractive woman who was scantily clad, or didn't flirt back even when the woman was being obvious. Castiel felt guilty for thinking that way, but he couldn't help himself. He loved Dean more every day, and it hurt in a way he couldn't describe when Dean paid attention to anyone else in a romantic way.

Castiel was sitting in the bunker library with Sam and Dean, helping them to research a monster that was terrorizing people in a small town in Iowa, when Dean headed to the kitchen with an excuse of needing another beer. Castiel watched him as he left, letting out a tiny sigh on accident. He prayed that Sam hadn't heard it, but his Father wasn't being very generous today.

“You really should just tell him, you know,” Sam offered, putting his book down and moving his chair so he could look directly at the angel. “My brother is an idiot, and he's never going to notice on his own, so it's up to you to make the first move here.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Castiel choked out, wincing when his voice cracked a little near the end of his lie.

Sam chuckled. “You suck at lying sometimes, Cas. But seriously, just let Dean know that you like him. Maybe it'll end all the longing stares.”

Castiel blushed. He hadn't realized he was making his feelings so obvious to other people. It really was a wonder that Dean hadn't noticed. Or maybe he had, and he was sparing Castiel his rejection out of kindness?

“Things are fine the way they are,” Castiel mumbled.

“Yeah right, Cas.” Sam scooted his chair closer and put a reassuring hand on the angel's shoulder. “You look absolutely miserable when you look at him lately. Just tell him and get it over with.”

“I couldn't,” Castiel admitted. He hated how weak it made him feel, but it was true.

“Why not?” Sam asked.

“Because… I don't think I could stand the rejection, and especially the pity, from Dean.” Castiel shrugged his shoulders to get Sam to remove his hand. “As I already said, I’m fine this way.”

“Rejection? You're afraid of Dean rejecting you?” Sam was staring at him like he’d grown a second head.

“Yes,” Castiel said sadly. He wished that this conversation would just end already. He tilted his head in confusion, though, when Sam started to laugh. “You think this is funny?” Castiel asked angrily.

Sam laughed for a few more seconds before nodding. “Yeah Cas, it's absolutely hilarious. You think Dean’s gonna reject you, but he's even more gone than you are.” His laughter started back up again as Castiel stared at him, anger replaced by confusion once again.

“Gone? I'm not sure I understand.”

“It's beyond obvious my brother's head over heels in love with you, Cas. You think those longing looks you give him behind his back are bad? His are ten times worse.” Sam chuckled again before continuing. “He’s never said anything because he's terrified that he's too flawed and human for an angel like you. Plus, our dad really did a number on him growing up. But trust me, Dean is definitely in love with you.”

“Are you sure?” Castiel couldn't believe his ears. It wasn't possible.

“I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I wasn’t.” Sam put his hand back on Castiel’s shoulder, giving him another squeeze to go with the reassuring smile he had on his face.

“I…” Castiel started to say, before Dean came back from the kitchen, three bottles of beer in hand.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asked, looking back and forth between his brother and the angel, confused expression on his face.

“No, we were just finishing up,” Sam said as he stood up and stretched. “But Cas has something to tell you, so I’ll just give you guys some privacy for a bit.” Before Castiel could stop him, Sam left the room and he was alone with Dean.

Dean watched his brother leave, then shrugged and handed Castiel a bottle before sitting down. “So, what’s up Cas?”

Castiel didn’t have to see himself to know he looked panicked right now. But maybe Sam had been right? Maybe Dean might not reject him?

“Hey, you okay man?” Dean asked, looking concerned now. “Bad news? Something come over angel radio?”

“No, nothing like that Dean,” Cas said quickly, not wanting to unnecessarily worry him any further. “It's… I have a confession to make,” he whispered.

“Confession?”

“Dean, I have been… hiding my true feelings lately,” Castiel finally admitted. Dean’s expression changed to dread, which only made finishing his statement harder for Castiel.

“You, umm… you want to leave or something?” Dean asked.

“No, nothing like that!” This conversation was only getting worse the longer it went on. Castiel gathered all his bravery and almost shouted when he said “I’m in love with you.”

Dean just stared, unblinking for a few moments. Castiel was about to stand up and run from the room when Dean spoke. “What?”

Sam was wrong, apparently. And now here was the rejection Castiel had feared. “I said that I loved you,” Castiel answered softly, his heart breaking in ways he hadn't known possible.

“You… can't,” Dean sputtered out.

“I'm sorry, I should go now.” Castiel pushed his chair away from the table and stood.

“No, don't,” Dean said as he grabbed him by the arm. “Please stay?” He pleaded.

“I understand that you do not return my feelings, Dean, and I would prefer to avoid any awkwardness over my confession right now,” Castiel said flatly.

“No, it's not like that, Cas. It's… I mean, I…” Dean stumbled over his words, looking more flustered by the second. “Cas, I feel the same too. I just… you shouldn't like me that way. I'm broken, and you deserve so much better.”

Castiel's jaw dropped as his brain registered the words Dean had said. “You… feel the same?” It was impossible. Sam had told him, but still, there was no way this was actually happening.

Dean blushed, turning a very bright shade of red. “Yeah, I do.”

“But, why?”

Dean looked shocked at his question. “Who wouldn't fall in love with you, Cas? You're a badass who is still the nicest person, uhh, angel that I’ve ever met. You're loyal to the point of being self sacrificing, probably even more intelligent than Sammy, and I’ve been in love with you for years now,” he blurted out. “I never said anything cuz there was no way someone as perfect as you would want a constant screw up like me.”

“You're not a constant screw up, you are the bravest, kindest being I’ve ever met,” Castiel reprimanded him.

“Then why'd you never say anything?” Dean asked. “Why didn't you say something sooner? Like whenever we were about to die. They always do that in the movies.”

“I assumed you were straight,” Castiel explained. “You only ever flirted with women to my knowledge, and since Jimmy was male, I thought you wouldn't want a relationship with me.”

“I would want you no matter what you looked like, Cas. Dude, chick, celestial wavelength or whatever.” Dean paused. “And I think I'm maybe a little bit bisexual. My dad would've killed me if he'd ever found out, so I hid it so long that I guess it became a habit. So what's in your pants was never a problem.”

Castiel stared at him. It was all too good to be true. “Dean, I don't know what to say.”

“Then how 'bout a date?” He suggested. “We could go out, test the waters, see if we could do anything with this.”

“That… I’d like that, Dean.” Castiel smiled so hard his face started to hurt.

“Good, that's good. That's great, Cas.” Dean’s smile matched Castiel's. “And maybe I could trying kissing you now?”

“I’d like that as well, Dean.” Castiel was barely paying attention to his own response, staring at Dean's lips instead.

Dean got up and slowly, hesitantly, leaned in. He cocked one eyebrow, as if asking permission one last time, and Castiel's impatience got the best of him. The angel leaned in the rest of the way and captured those lips that he'd been fantasizing about for years. They were as soft as they looked, and when Dean’s tongue pushed its way into Castiel's mouth, the rest of the world was drowned out completely.

Dean’s hands snaked downwards to grip Castiel's butt while the angel’s hands buried themselves in Dean’s hair. Castiel let out an unexpected moan when Dean pushed in closer, their bodies touching at every possible point now.

When Dean had to pull back to breathe, he grinned at Castiel. “Wow,” he said. “That was… wow.”

Castiel blushed. “I agree.”

They could plan their first date later.


End file.
